Posted in 心情, 说给孩子(们)的故事

白痴论

今早,小宝贝泪声俱下地控诉小小宝贝每一天如何地弄她生气。

小宝贝:他就像故事里的白痴。把身边的人都惹生气了,不但不懂,还很开心地过自己的生活!他是白痴!

妈妈:。这也是为什么我小时候讨厌你爸爸。不过,我比较幸运,因为我只需要面对你爸爸6小时。你就得每一天24小时面对你的弟弟。你爸爸也不知道我讨厌他。他只记得我会很用力地踢他,他很痛。你觉得他当时是不是个白痴?

小宝贝愣了四分之一秒,说:Gordon也是白痴!他也是一直弄我们生气!

妈妈:你爸爸小时候是不是白痴?

小宝贝再次回避问题,说:弟弟也是白痴!

妈妈:我问你,那个时候的爸爸是不是也是个白痴?

小宝贝小声地说:是白痴。

妈妈:好。结果呢,我嫁给了当年的白痴还生了一个白痴,你觉得我的命比较苦还是你的命比较苦?

小宝贝噗呲一声,破涕为笑。一直坐着旁边听的小小宝贝也跟着笑出声来。

妈妈:你觉得现在你的爸爸还是个白痴吗?还是他很聪明?

小宝贝摇头说:不是。他很聪明。

妈妈微笑地走去厨房煮午餐。过了不久,小宝贝拿一张纸到垃圾桶边撕破了才丢进去。妈妈知道那是她前天写给好朋友的信,控诉小小宝贝如何地气她。

傍晚吃晚餐的时候,妈妈突然想起早上有建议小宝贝打电话给好朋友诉苦,结果,竟然忘了这回事。

妈妈:小宝贝,你下午没有来和我拿电话,你要不要打电话给Felicia? 我下午忘了呢。

小宝贝面露一丝尴尬,说:我也忘了。不过,我不要打给她。

妈妈:Have you forgiven him or you have forgotten about it?

小宝贝偷笑道:我,原谅他了。

妈妈:原谅和忘了,日子是不是比较好过点?

小宝贝:嗯。虽然很多时候我一直提醒自己要记得他的罪状,但是,我很快就忘了。我会不爽自己怎么忘了。

妈妈:这就是当你违反你的天性时,会活得不快乐。你和爸爸的天性是很快忘了,也很容易放空。我和小小宝贝却是那种越想放空,脑子里越多思绪的人。我们很多时候也想忘掉不愉快的事情,偏偏就是不能。你能够忘记,其实这就是你的 strength,不要为了违反它而活得不开心哦。

小宝贝露出一个“我懂了” 微笑。

 

 

Posted in Waldorf Education, 心情

简单的大快乐

两个宝贝从去年开始吧,就没有踏入购物广场。他们曾经说过,已经忘记商场里的手推车是长什么样子了。前两天,我们一家人去了 Gurney Paragon. 两个宝贝都很兴奋,特别是小小宝贝。他独自一个人乘搭手扶梯上上下下很多次。脸上挂着很开心满足的笑容,还不停和我们挥手打招呼!

老公望着小小宝贝的背影缓缓地往上走,问我:“就只是可以乘搭手扶梯就那么开心了啊?”

我:“嗯,就好像 Mrs M 说过的,12岁终于可以在戏院里吃爆米花,喝可乐,是多么兴奋的事。外人眼里可能会觉得我们的孩子是神经病。哈哈。”

老公:“我觉得你应该写下来今天这么快乐的一件事。”

接着,我们去了Daiso 逛,轮到小宝贝对我说:“Oh my, 我们很久都没有 shopping 了,对吗?” 我也趁机叫她快点选几样物品,因为难得可以来血拼。去到 Jaya Grocer, 小小宝贝迫不及待地要推一辆手推车,姐弟俩也说好要轮流推。望着琳琅满目的糖果,他们很开心地选了两种带回家。

快乐真的可以很简单。

p/s 小宝贝也第一次在餐厅庆祝她的生日。谢谢Jeff 帮我们拍了一张很好看的全家福。

Posted in 心情, 说给孩子(们)的故事

金星温柔又绚丽地落幕

今天傍晚去新屋观星。期许有机会看到 Leonard 彗星。等待的当儿,我们看见夕阳下的金星 (Venus),土星 (Saturn) 和 木星 (Jupiter) 排成一排。天色越暗,这些行星就越明显。

望着西南方向的天际,一大朵的云慢慢飘过来,心里也明白应该是看不到彗星了。正当大家开始要收拾东西回家之际,我首先发现金星很靠近山顶了,我赶紧招来孩子们,小小宝贝有注意到金星然而小宝贝则找不到。金星就在我们眼前,像小火苗一样一闪一闪地,在几秒的时间里,熄灭了又重新燃起火苗再熄灭,落到山背去了。这一幕真的让我和小小宝贝觉得有点小激动,它也是今天的一个小惊喜。虽然没能目睹到彗星却有幸可以欣赏到金星温柔又绚丽地落幕。

哈,我对我们的新屋子之喜欢度又增加了!谢谢老公! 🙂

Posted in 心情, 说给孩子(们)的故事

第三年和双子座流星雨的约会

这次,我们在 Spice Garden 露营然后凌晨3点半起身去对面的海滩看流星雨。

前一天,Daphne 很疼小宝贝,她托朋友买了一个蛋糕,为小宝贝办了一个惊喜生日会。Tropical Spice Garden的老板也很贴心地送了小宝贝一本精美的故事书加上温馨的祝福语(是的,小宝贝 is definitely our future)。小宝贝拥有着许多人的爱和祝福。:)

今年的天空万里无云,满天的星星,让我们情不自禁地赞叹。我们看到了双子座(必定的,呵呵),七姐妹 (The Pleiades),四脚朝天的熊 (Ursa), Orion’s belt 的整个星座,巨蟹座等等。

躺在草席上,望着美丽的星空和惊喜连连地流星 – 有白光参蓝光的,橙色的,慢慢划过的,快速划过的,拖着尾巴的,等等,我许下了很多很多的愿望。哈哈。孩子们除了忙着惊叹也忙着吃零食和聊天发问。我在黑暗中轻声地对老公说“I love you.” 他细语地回我,“I love you too.”

小宝贝也在美丽地流星雨中,正式满11岁了。祝福你,我的小宝贝。:)

 

Posted in Waldorf Education

Biography Workshop

Biography Workshop Day 1

Parent’s reflection:

How can I do better next time?

What can I do better next time?

By having these reflections, I am a developing parent. And, life is all about self developing.

 

Age 0-21 we develop body

Age 21-42 we develop soul

Age 42-63 we develop spiritual

Our experiences at age 7-21 will be the reflections at the spiritual stage (42-63) and that time we will slowly reduce this bagage (eperiences 7-21) from our shoulder.

 

Age 14- 21: Developing our specialities such as very good in math, sports.

Age 21-28: This is the experimental phase. We have to decide on our life direction. Trying out lots of things. It’s either action on impluse or thinking too much and without any action taken.

Age 28-35: This is the ratio phase. We are wiser, maturer and more sensitive. Our hearts start to speak more and more. It is a stage whereby we will be practising balance in between listening to our hearts an rational thinking.

Age 35-42: This is the consciousnes phase. Consciousness in the soul starts to develop. We will starts asking questions like “What else can I archieve besides earning money?” “Is there more than being a SAHM?”

Age 0-21 We acted based on sense organ.

 

Quotes:

  1. I am the one who is meeting the challenges in my life and designing my own life.
  2. We are not the property of our parents nor we are the owner of our children.Kahlil Gibran – 1883-1931

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

  1. Sometimes there’s rain, sometimes there’s sun, just accept it. This is life.
  2. Pain is like cracks on shell and there must be cracks to allow lights go into the shell. Kahlil Gibran – 1883-1931

And a woman spoke, saying, Tell us of Pain.

And he said:

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

 

Much of your pain is self-chosen.

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.

Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,

And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

  1. Vera (the speaker) does not going to tell someone that crack is good for light to come in. (This reminds me on Hui who hated anyone who tells him that his life isn’t any worst than others.)
  2. If our childhood is not good, there’s still a chance to find ourselves as a survivor from bad childhood.
  3. We have internal medicine. The source of love is in our heart. Try to look for the beauty around us such as rays of sunshine, kind gestures.
  4. It is not Dos or Don’ts but a capacity to grow. It happens by nature. It is by self education. It is by educating the children and they become our educators in our soul life.
  5. Children mirror parents. Hence we will know if we are doing correctly or not by looking at them.
  6. Friends / colleagues / anyone mirror us as well.
  7. If i am not good enough, it triggers me to be a better person.
  8. I just need to be myself.
  9. Every single person is important.
    eg: Vera gave an example in Netherland that many people just threw away their masks on the street and it was the senior citizens who picked them up. It shows that now they are in the stage of contributing to the society after they have been busy in their previous years taking care of family, career, business etc.
  10. Nature play is very important in young children.
    eg: Vera own experience when meeting with China clients. Many years ago, even the Chinese were very poor and endured with hunger during childhood, however, they got plenty of opportunity to play at outdoor such as climbing trees, building mud houses, etc. These were their happy memory and supported them as an adult. However, in the recent years especially city kids, they do not have these nature play experiences and Vera is worry about how are they going to cope with their adult life in future. Vera suggested we need to create/find opportunity to bring our kids to nature and let them explore in it.
  11. Parents need to be interested in their children.
    Ask them about their interest such as internet games. Everyone likes it when someone is interested in their own hobby or interest.
  12. Whenever there’s a fight between siblings, we as parents need to help our kids to understand each other.
    Sit back and let them experience each other.
    Calm down the situation first, later on only explain to both siblings that elder child needs to take care of the younger sibling and younger child needs to learn to grow up instead of always complaining to parents.
  13. Teenager conflicts with parent.
    We need to have rules and regulations in place.
    Eg: if a teenager was coming home late, parents wait for the next day only talk about it with her. Reminding her that a rule was set and what could be done after she broke the rule.

Biography workshop Day 2

  1. Socialization is part of education.
  2. We entered life in sleeping mode and this has been proven by neuro scientist. Kids from 0-7 are in deep relaxation mode.
  3. Life woke us up around the age of 7.
  4. Remember to ask for help whenever you are in trouble.
  5. It is important for us to go back to our nature for example the free young child back in our childhood.
  6. Aristotle said, “Give me a child until age 7 and I will show you a man.”
  7. Who saw me when I was a young child? ( Recalling back our childhood)
  8. Nurture our child to grow his nature.
  9. Some people repeated the same action from what had seen from their parents.
  10. Some people disagreed and rejected their parent’s way
    – 70s&80s in Western countries are the generation who is anti-authority.
    – The parents would tell the kid that you may go to bed whenever you feel like to. And this behaviour will give an impression to the kid that he/she is not seen by their parents.
  11. We as parents need to listen to our kids and acknowledging the kid.
    – kids need to struggle and overcome their own problem
    – we could accompany them along the journey by listening to their problems.
  12. Self care and caring of our kids and family
    – enough sleep and eat then only can be a resilient parent.
  13. Safety
    – I become a role model of my kids by keeping myself safe.
  14. Social life
    – Children need to play around with friends and by themselves. This is very important.
    – Obeserve their nature and stimulate their potention.
    – listen to them without judgement.
  15. Esteem
    – recognition àsome children dislike direct recognition hence parents need to observe the type of kids they are having.
    -7-14 children wish to get recognition from their peers and teachers.
    – 14-21 is a challenging stage and they need self acceptance/recognition and from others.
  16. Self fulfilment is the top area in the pyramid that consists of the above 4 areas.
    – There’s no path to self fulfilment , self fulfilment is the path.
    – In presence.
  17. We need to weigh our own balance in this pyramid and think of what is our strength and weakness from the 5 areas.
  18. Children nowadays need the NO medicine.
    – No. You cannot have your ipad now.
    – No. You cannot have more chocolate as you have already taken a lot.
    – Children need boundary.
    – Children need to learn to cope with frustration and hence parents should not create a stress-free environment for them.
  19. Parents need to observe our kids closely and we will know what are their needs.
  20. Ask: “What is happending with this child?” Instead of, “What is wrong with this child?”
  21. Each day, drops a little bit of my perfection. Living in perfection is no human.
  22. After obeserving the child, use trial and error method to solve the problems.

 

PARENT’S HOUSE By Khalil  Gibran

It’s the only house where you can go to dozens of times without an invitation.

The only house where you can put the key in the door and enter directly.

The house that has loving eyes that stare at the Door  until they see you.

The house which reminds you of your care free days, stability and your happiness during your Childhood .

The house in which your presence and look at your mother’s and father’s faces is for you a bliss and your conversation with them is a reward.

The house that if you do not go, the hearts of its owners will shrink.

The house in which two candles were burnt to light up the world and fill your life with happiness and joy.

The house where the dining table is pure for you and has no hypocrisy.

The house that if the food time arrives and you don’t eat, the hearts of its owners will be broken and annoyed.

The house that offers you all the laughs & Happiness.

Posted in Waldorf Education, 心情

Spice Garden Guided Tour

4号11月2021年

  1. Salary comes from the word Salt due to 200 years ago, salt was very worthy.
  2. Salt and pepper are the most used spices in the world.
  3. Nipah exists since 150 millions years ago
    – Atap 仔 is at the base / root of Nipah tree
    – the fiber from Nipah are used to make mattress. There was 1 incident happened at Miami beach Penang during Tsunami, a little girl was sleeping soundly on a mattress made of Nipah fiber and she wasn’t even awake from her sleep when the wave carried her with the mattress out to the sea and sent her back to the beach. Saved by Nipah mattress!
    – brown sugar / gula melaka is from Nipah.
  4. Wax palm – use the sap to seal up letter. It can be made as candle as well.
  5. Fan palm is local plant. 好像济公的扇子。
  6. Spices have 4 usage: protection, tasty, medicine and killing.
  7. Silver Joey Palm- architect in Malaysia copy it’s shape to build rooftop. 锌片屋顶
    – monk uses its sap to dye cloth
  8. Traveler’s palm leaves grows to the direction of South and North. Those who travel in the jungle use it as indicator of direction, that’s how it gets its name.
  9. Gorilla pepper is the most spicy in the world.
  10. UAE country banned nutmeg.
  11. Ceylon cinnamon from Sri Lanka cinnamon is consider as ‘real’ cinnamon and better than cinnamon from China. It is made  from its inner bark. The price is costly due to difficult to produce.
  12. Clove heals wound. However, the gentlemen in our group are more interested in its usage to help erection. :p
  13. White and Black peppers are actually from the same plant. When pepper is soaked in water, then dried and grinded, it is the non spicy white pepper. Black pepper are those that sunbathed.

隔天要回家的时候,我在入口处看见一位很像很像梅诗的女生。刹那间,我的眼眶就热起来,鼻子也一酸。我不停地和老公说,“怎么会那么像?是不是她的姐姐啊?” 我不得不转过身子,缓一缓,双手不停地朝脸上扇风。我想,我是多么希望她是梅诗,她回来了。一位在我心里轻轻地留下了烙印,想要和这个大地一起进化的农夫。

Posted in 心情, 说给孩子(们)的故事

小小宝贝的八岁生日惊喜

今天是小小宝贝的农历生日,而昨天呢,也是小小宝贝的阳历生日。这两天,小小宝贝都过得很开心因为他的好朋友们陪他渡过了八岁生日,将近22个小时的陪伴。

先从昨天早上说起吧。早上六点多,当爸妈还躺在床上时,小小宝贝就开始玩起寻宝游戏。这是小宝贝精心为他准备的游戏,而宝藏也是小宝贝亲手做的立体卡片。吃过早餐,我们一家人就先唱生日歌和享用果冻蛋糕。这果冻蛋糕的水果全是小小宝贝最喜欢吃的。爸爸,妈妈和小小宝贝前一天晚上一起制作的。

吃过蛋糕,轮到爸爸妈妈要小小宝贝去寻找我们为他准备的生日礼物,小小宝贝瞪大了双眼。这是因为之前爸爸妈妈骗他说今年没有生日礼物。呵呵。拆了礼物,小小宝贝和小宝贝就迫不及待地要去公园“使用”它。小小宝贝临出门前还问说能不能约好朋友们一起去公园。可惜,星期五都是其他小孩的上课天,就只有我们没有上课。从公园回家的途中,小小宝贝突然冒出了一句,“去年,我有得到去 Aunty Pat家庆祝生日对吗?” 妈妈说,“嗯,你很幸福哦。有 Aunty Pat 那么疼你,还有一班好朋友陪你。”

大约下午三点,妈妈突然接到 Pat 的讯息,妈妈心想,早上小小宝贝才想念她们没想到这时候她们就要过来了。母子三人赶快收拾家里和吸尘。这还是朗朗第一次来到我们家呢。4位好朋友一碰面就开始嬉闹起来,看得出他们都很想念以前一起在我们家玩的日子。算一算,他们也有至少9个月没有来过我们家了。当 Pat 和 GS 说要离开时,孩子们都很不舍,所以 GS 就说不如傍晚才来接两个大的回家。顿时,4为好朋友欢呼起来。妈妈准备开门的时候突然闪过一个念头,不如就邀请 Felicia和Gordon留下来过一夜吧。Pat 和 GS 也很爽快地答应了。孩子们再次难掩兴奋之情,点头说好。

女生们在房间涂指甲油和画画;男生们在客厅玩子弹枪(Gordon 记得小小宝贝曾经说过他的子弹枪坏了所以就和 Felicia & Pat 准备了这份生日礼物,妈妈听了还蛮感动的),摔跤,打架,做 tabata, 打兵乓等。妈妈一边准备晚餐,一边听着两个男生对话,除了久违的温馨,也有好笑的,比如,Gordon 问小小宝贝,“你有学科学吗?你知道什么是生物和非生物吗?” 小小宝贝回答,“我没有学科学,我不知道。” Gordon 很认真地解说,“生物就是好像树。。。” 小小宝贝抢着回答说,“哦,我知道非生物就是能飞的,对吗?” Gordon依旧认真地说,“树被砍掉了就是非生物。” 爸爸后来听说了这段对话总结出,standard 的答案就是Gordon所提供的,没有 standard的答案就是小小宝贝所说的。=P

开始吃晚餐的时候,Gordon突然说,“以前我们都会先拍video 给 Aunty Pat 说,吃饭了,对吗?” 妈妈的心又是一阵暖流,他都还记得以前来我们家的情景。晚餐后,小小宝贝在我们和好朋友们的陪伴和歌声中,再次庆祝8岁生日。这次是好朋友们带来的浓郁的巧克力蛋糕。当妈妈望着照片里,4位一起成长的孩子们(除了 MCO期间无法见面),发现每一个都长大了,而且,每一位脸上都挂着甜蜜欢乐的笑容。啊,这班孩子如果可以继续地一起成长,互相陪伴和扶持,那将会是他们给予彼此很好的一份礼物。

晚上,两位男生在谈话声中慢慢睡着。女生则轻声细语得爸爸妈妈也不晓得是什么时候睡了。Gordon在准备气床的时候还透露了他还蛮紧张的因为是第一次到朋友家 sleepover.

今天早上六点多,两位男生就起身了,然后把女生们也都叫醒。接着又是一起玩子弹枪和打架,而女生们则继续画画。吃了早餐,我们就要去和 GS 集合,爬山去了。临出门前,Felicia 告诉妈妈,“我下次再来你家把这副图画画完。” 所以妈妈就先帮她保管她的画。

下山后,Pat 和朗朗也来和我们汇合。一群小孩和两个爸爸就在小溪里玩水。真的是很久没有看到这样放松嬉闹的画面了。大伙儿最后依依不舍地离开公园,各自回家。孩子们提问了好几次可不可以再过夜一晚,又或者继续回我们家玩,GS说,“已经黏在一起20多个小时了,很久了。” Gordon认真地在算,“这是不是我们在一起最久的一次呢?”

今年应该是算小小宝贝最多惊喜的生日哦,除了阳历生日当天收到朋友的生日卡(小小宝贝很好奇怎么婉琪阿姨能够把信准时寄到),好朋友们的到访,然后突然来个 sleepover, 还有就是在树林里遇见了一只很可爱的刺山龟。哎呀,妈妈得去准备红鸡蛋了,午餐时,小小宝贝提醒了爸爸妈妈,他的农历生日还没有吃到红鸡蛋呢!

p/s 朗朗昨天回家的途中,告诉 Pat & GS, Aunty 贝的家有衣服,有 balcony , 还有肮脏!他的真诚答复让他爸妈都笑翻了。朗朗啊,朗朗,我们可是有特地吸尘后迎接你的到来哦。哈哈哈哈!

 

Posted in 心情, 说给孩子(们)的故事

巧遇的小幸福

昨天去了 straits quay 骑脚车。期间,看到了形形色色的人,比如,独自一个人站在石堆上练唱的女士,一些遛狗人士任由狗儿大便在草地上也没有把粪便捡起来,帅气的日本跑步大叔等。

当我快离开的时候,一对刚到达的外籍父女引起了我的注意。带着眼镜,样子害羞滴滴的女孩大约8-9岁吧。战战兢兢地练习骑一辆成人脚车。她的爸爸则在一旁弯着高瘦的身躯,一边扶着脚车的椅垫,一边慢跑。我不禁替他觉得腰疼。呵呵。肯定的是,我看到了这位爸爸眼里的呵护和关爱。还有女孩很努力地用力骑。虽然摇摇晃晃的,但是,她应该是知道有爸爸为后盾,她可以放心地继续往前骑。

我好像是经过了他们两次后,自己突然有个小冲动,于是就在我们面对面要擦身而过那一刹那,我开口对女孩说,“you need to pedal faster! ” 父女同时给了我同样的腼腆微笑。接下来的碰面,我又看到女孩对我腼腆地微笑,我再次对她喊话,“you can do it!” 那位爸爸也跟着笑了。第三次看到他们,那位爸爸刚刚把手放开,女孩笑得很开心地朝我骑过来,我对她说,“Good job!” 她爸爸也跟着鼓起掌来。转回一圈,我远远地就看到女孩更加自信地骑,他爸爸终于可以挺直背脊拿着手机跟在后头拍视频。当我们再次快擦身而过时,我比了个大拇指给女孩,她依然是有点腼腆地微笑,甜美地模样。

我整个人顿时觉得很窝心起来,脑海里不断浮现出两个瓜第一次学会骑两轮脚车的情景。一个三岁三个月大,一个三岁七个月大,他们那副稚嫩又有点梦幻地脸蛋。还有当时我和老公都想哭的感动,好像又再次涌上心头来。望着在不远处的孩子们,我感叹着时光飞逝的同时,耳边好像隐隐约约听见几天前,朋友发来她五岁大的儿子成功骑两轮脚车的视频里,她骄傲又开心地笑声。是的,这些都是无价的经历和感受,虽然无法用字眼完整地形容当下的心情,但是只要和经历过的父母提起,大家都会说我懂,然后沉浸在自己的回忆当中。。。。。。

 

 

Posted in 心情, 说给孩子(们)的故事

我们家的演讲台

我们家一直以来都有一个时段和空间是让彼此提出疑难杂症,分享道听途说的故事、事件或者读到的小说和杂志内容,再一起发表伟言和看法,也就是福建话俗称的,演讲。会有这么一个平台皆因老公天生爱吹水,他的外号是水神(吹水的意思啦)。

我们的演讲台也就是吃饭桌啦。通常都是吃着晚餐开始,等清光了盘上的食物,依然意犹未尽地继续聊。随着孩子们年纪越大,再加上MCO呆在家中的时间很长,这吹水环节在周末也会发生在早餐和午餐时段,一开讲有可能就是2个小时多,甚至还会泡一壶茶后继续下去。

某天,我望着老公俊美的侧脸,他正滔滔不绝地演讲而孩子们则全神贯注地聆听,我突然冒起一个想法,我对老公说,“老公,你怎么当起一名工程师啊?你真的应该当个讲古佬,激励讲师或什么训导师嘛。多年以后,我想不管孩子们去了哪里读书或则工作,他们都会记得我们每一次在饭桌上的演讲。这将会是我们家的一个美好回忆呢。” 我望向孩子们,他们似懂非懂地微笑着。

孩子们还小的时候,我总会叮咛老公要用简洁话语,点到为止就好了。不然,孩子们会越听越懵。现在看到他终于可以口若悬河,有时候还耍了些调皮,唬弄两个瓜;啊,我除了翻个白眼也跟着哈哈大笑。想必,不只是两个瓜,我当年也应该就是这样被他的口水给迷惑,愚者上勾的。

 

Posted in Book

The Giver by Lois Lowry

Preface of the book: For all the children to whom we entrust the future

Chapter 1

“Each community has different rules hence the kids didn’t know what your play area rules were?”

“do you think it’s possible that he felt strange and stupid, being in a new place with rules that he didn’t know about?”

“yes, and now I feel sorry for him.”

当我们换个思考位置,或则站在他人的立场去看事情的时候,本来的情绪就可能消失或转换成另一个情绪。

Chapter 2

12 岁的孩子开始接受他们未来职业的训练。这个决定是由一群的委员从日常生活中的观察订下来的。

让我联想到,父母对小孩的引导和栽培,是朝着预先设定的方向。

Chapter 3

“Three years, three births, and that’s all. After that they are laborers for the rest of their adult lives, until the day that they enter the House of Old. Is that what you want, Lily? Three lazy years, and then hard physical labor until you are old?”

我直接想到第一次怀孕的母亲,孕期的享福,孩子出生后的日子就开始耗精力,磨耐心。养儿一百岁,长忧九十九。

Chapter 4

“Well, they tried to make her life sound meaningful. And of course, all lives are meaningful, I don’t mean that they aren’t. But Edna. My goodness. She was a Birthmother, and then she worked in Food Production for years, until she came here. She never even had a family unit.”

“But Roberto’s life was wonderful. He had been an Instructor of Elevens – you know how important that is – and he’d been on the Planning Committee. And goodness, I don’t know how he found the time – he also raised two very successful children, and he was also the one who did the landscaping design for the Central Plaza. He didn’t do the actual labor, of course.”

人老了,还得面对外人的评价,关于自己的一生。

身份地位和劳力的付出永远都是不成比例的。然而,事实上两者是互相依赖的。也想到男女平等的争论。

Chapter 5

“Can you describe the strongest feeling in your dream, son?”

“The wanting. I knew she wouldn’t. And I think I knew that she shouldn’t. But I wanted it so terribly. I could feel the wanting all through me.”

“Jonas, the feeling you described as the wanting? It was your first Stirrings. ”

以上叙述的应该是男孩第一次产生的性欲望。在故事里头的社会,规定每一天都会让这男孩吞下一颗药丸来抑制这个欲望。一切都好像是那么地理所当然和正常。

It was the sort of thing one didn’t ask a friend about because it might have fallen into that uncomfortable category of “being different.” Always better, less rude, to talk about things that were the same.

以上这句,是尊重的态度,是包容的行为,是被压抑的好奇还是被扭曲了价值观呢?

Chapter 6

这一章叙述的是孩子每一年的里程碑。传说中有一位12岁的男孩因为得不到他想要的职位训练(工程师),隔天就跳下河,游到对岸的另一个社区去生活了。没有人能够鉴定这个传说的真伪。

Chapter 7

这一章形容男主角被故意跳过颁发给他未来的职位的心情。

Chapter 8

男主角的职位是 Receiver of Memory. He has shown all of the qualities that a Receiver must have, that is Integrity, Intelligence and Courage.

“The training required of you involves pain. Physical pain.” 然而,在场没有一个人能够明白会是怎么样的一种痛,因为就只有现任的 Receiver 懂。

男主角当下的心情是感激和自豪,同时也被恐惧包围,因为一切是那么的 unknown.

Chapter 9

Receiver 拥有的一个特权就是可以说谎。这是男主角在这个社区生活了12年,第一次知道,原来说谎是被允许的。他也突然联想到,会不会自己身边的大人们也一直都对他说谎呢?

Chapter 10

The current Receiver of Memory is tired, having the whole world memory loaded on him. And he wishes to transmit the memory to the new Receiver as soon as possible.

Chapter 11

男主角第一次知道什么是雪花,第一次感觉到阳光的温暖以及晒伤的疼痛。

Chapter 12

男主角第一次知道什么是红色。这个社区的科学家应该还在研究如何让每一位出生在这里的人变同类化,比如,没有肤色和发色之别。

这让我想起了 “Black lives matters” campaign. 一个极端的社会运动 (Social movement)。

Chapter 13

“We don’t dare to let people make choices of their own.”

“Very frightening. I can’t even imagine it. We really have to protect people from wrong choices.”

“He found that he was often angry, now; irrationally angry at his groupmates, that they were satisfied with their lives which had some of the vibrance his own was taking on. And he was angry at himself, that he could not change that for them.”

我联想到的是育儿之路。有些父母给予孩子们的自由度很广,甚至到了没有界限;有些父母管得很严厉,以至于到达专制;有些父母烦恼着如何地拿捏所谓的 “freedom within boundary”.

Chapter 14

They have never known pain, he thought. The realization made him feel desperately lonely.

这句话,我有很深的感触。可能是土相吧,要求和感受都是很高和精准,所以很多时候都会觉得旁人不能真正理解自己,又或者是,自己无法一百巴仙的感同身受他人的遭遇。

“But why can’t everyone have the memories? I think it would seem a little easier if the memories were shared. You and I wouldn’t have to bear so much by ourselves, if everybody took a part.”

“You’re right. But then everyone would be burdened and pained. They don’t want that. And that’s the real reason The Receiver is so vital to them, and so honored. They selected me – and you – to lift that burden from themselves.”

“When did they decide that?” Jonas asked angrily. “It wasn’t fair. Let’s change it!”

“How do you suggest we do that? I’ve never been able to think of a way, and I’m supposed to be the one with all the wisdom.”

“But there are two of us now,” Jonas said eagerly. “Together we can think of something!”

“The decision was made long before my time or yours,” The Giver said, “and before the previous Receiver, and -” He waited.

“Back and back and back.” Jonas repeated the familiar phrase. Sometimes it had seemed humorous to him. Sometime it had seemed meaningful and important. Now it was ominous. It meant, he knew, that nothing could be changed.

这些对话,提醒了我,在一个家庭里的分工责任负担,社会上的资源分配,政治上的不公平政策等情况。

Chapter 15

男主角经历了濒临死亡的过程和感受。

Chapter 16

The Giver 为了弥补把死亡的记忆传给了男主角,他今天把美好的记忆比如爱,传给了男主角。

男主角问爸爸妈妈:”Do you love me?”

“Jonas. You, of all people. Precision of language, please!”

“What do you mean?” Jonas asked. Amusement was not all what he had anticipated.

“Your father means that you used a very generalized word, so meaningless that it’s become almost obsolete,” his mother explained carefully.

Jonas stared at them. Meaningless? He had never before felt anything as meaningful as the memory.

我相信爱,感受到爱也给予爱。一个没有了爱的生活,应该很枯燥乏味,缺乏活力吧?

Chapter 17

男主角得到记忆的同时也面临了很多的失去。一份对好朋友们的爱却永远得不到他们回报,经历过战争的恐怖感受却无法告诉好朋友们它的残忍。最让人绝望的是,他知道他无法改变这一切的安排。

Chapter 18

Memories are forever.

男主角提出了被 Release 的想法。这一个举动激发了 The Giver 的思考,他好像想到了什么样的解决方案。

Chapter 19

男主角目睹了被 release 的婴儿就是被注射毒药然后死去。下手的是他的爸爸。公式化的行动让男主角崩溃了。

读着以下这段话,我的心隐隐地感受到 The Giver 的悲痛。

“You suggested, Jonas, that perhaps she wasn’t brave enough? I didn’t know about bravery: what it is, what it means. I do know that I sat there numb with horror. Wretched with helplessness. And I listened as Rosemary told them that she would prefer to inject herself. Then she did so. I didn’t watch. I looked away.”

Chapter 20

男主角和 The Giver 即将开始一个逃跑计划。男主角希望 The Giver 可以和他一起离开,然而,The Giver 选择了留下来陪伴他的女儿,Rosemary。

Chapter 21

男主角的爸爸说第二天他将会 release Gabriel。他并不知道男主角已经知道什么是 被 release。这突如其来的消息让男主角临时改变了计划。他决定把 Gabriel 一起带走。

Chapter 22

男主角在逃亡的过程经历了,饥饿,疲惫;他也第一次感觉到全身浸泡在雨水中的那种寒冷。

他也很害怕他救不到Gabriel。他的心想着的都是Gabriel,而不是自己的感受。

Chapter 23

男主角第一次摸到真正的雪花。他努力地传送温暖的记忆给Gabriel,以让他可以继续支撑下去。终于,他听见了歌声,一个 The Giver 最爱的记忆也是还没来得及传给男主角的记忆。现在,男主角自己拥有了这个亲耳听到的歌声的记忆。

我想,作者或许是想要和青少年们说,坚信自己的理想,勇敢地面对未来的一切。

p/s 昨天老公也分享了 Steve Job 的故事。Steve Job 说,唯有走过了,回头再看一切经历,我们才能够知道我们的现在是如何形成的。并不是我现在所作的一切能够让我在未来得到些什么。这和 The Giver 这本书所讲的 memory 有点相似,以前的记忆是来帮助我们看清、面对现在的问题。