Posted in Homeschooling, Waldorf Education, 心情

文化冲击反思篇

昨天,儿子跟随马来教练和队友们去USM参加足球比赛。我们和小宝贝除了陪晒好几个小时,也有机会和一位马来妈妈聊天。

这位妈妈生了7个孩子,最大是女儿,接下来全都是儿子,最小的才9个月大。女儿叫Hawa 就是 Eve, 夏娃;儿子全部都叫 Adam, 亚当。她说最小的不是在计划当中所以和排行第6的儿子年龄相差8年。她也提起她之前很希望小宝宝是女儿,因为家里5个都踢球的儿子已经弄得她很累。她看见小宝贝手里拿着英文小说,就分享了以前还年轻的时候也是很喜欢看小说,她想把家里小说借/送给小宝贝。其实,我也搞不清楚是借还是送因为我以为只是聊天而已并没有认真记住。没想到,过了几个小时,她竟然回家一趟拿了一袋的小说交给我,说是要给小宝贝的 (那时候,小宝贝已经先跳上老公的摩多回家去了)。我吓到了,也不好意思拒绝就收下了。打算当小宝贝看完了再还给她。才第一次见面的友族同胞的热情让我有点不知所措和觉得幸运可以遇到好人。

小休时段,儿子虽然和队友们语言不太通,但是,一群男孩就是可以玩在一起。然而,当他们突然开始拿小石子互抛,我的精神也开始紧绷了。过了一会儿,我决定开口制止他们。但是,他们只停一会儿,又偷偷开始丢。第二次我只制止儿子不可以再丢。接着,我发现Adam, 不停地把小石子丢进人工草地的球场内,我犹豫了一下还是决定请他停止。话一说完,我抬头看到一位马来爸爸望着我的眼神,似笑非笑地,好像在说“这位母亲,你很好笑叻。” 过了不久,儿子和队友们去另一个球场比赛,我和老公也跟着去。球赛进行着的时候,一群少年走来我身边蹲着看球,他们也一样把地上的石子往场里丢。这一刻,我好像突然领悟到,男生特别是踢球的,都是手脚一定要不停地动,然后,好像比较不会去思考行为的后果?那位爸爸的眼神再次浮现在我脑海。原来,当我来到球场边,我才是那位“异类”因为大部分在场的人都是“同类”。过后当我回家和老公孩子们分享这领悟时,老公问我:“你刚才是没有走到大水沟那里吧?我看到几次了,不同的男孩特地把足球大力地丢进水沟里让污水喷上来。也有好几个是走下去水沟旁,walking on the edge, 然后在那里挖洞。” 我听着的时候,眉头已经皱成一团了。两个孩子不停地在笑。

还有,当一群少年在我身旁丟石子的同时,有位马来爸爸大声问:“Ini anak siapa?” 重复了好几次,旁边的观众没有人出来认领。这2岁不到的女孩,自己跑进球场内,然后一个人站着。问她妈妈在哪里,她也只是呆呆地望着那位爸爸。最后,他把女孩引领到 MC那里 (他只是走在前面并没有牵手,叫她跟着走),我望着他们的背影离去,小女孩是赤脚地走在石子路上。我心不在焉地看球;耳朵一直在听着 MC报告说 “Ada waris-waris yang tertinggal anak perempuan? Tak sampai umur 2, rambut kerinting dan seluar panjang.” 这广播重复了好几次,大约过了10分钟吧,才停止。这10分钟里,我看着旁边的大人们包括老公,他们都若无其事地看球。我再次问自己,是我太紧张兮兮了吗?这些都是常态?大家庭很常会漏掉一个孩子不在自己的身边然后又没有觉察到吗?不过,我小时候也常在百货公司脱队,然后,广播就会出现我的名字。

这是一次文化冲击的体验,也让我有机会近距离接触到马来同胞,观察他们和试着听懂马来文。龙英台常会提起,要了解一个民族,首先就是要走进去那个民族的生活里去。我认同也终于有机会踏出第一步。这也是孩子带给我的礼物之一吧 – 让我有机会开阔生活中视野,理解自己的国民风俗多一些。

p/s 我也做到不在场边大呼小叫的,就只是安静地支持着小小宝贝。

 

Posted in Waldorf Education, 心情

云顶之旅

2月尾的学校假期,我们一家人终于来到云顶玩。一路上,我们先停在太平吃早餐。也是第一次吃到我舅舅炒的面食。呵呵,去了太平很多次,每一次不是遇到他们收档了就是遇到休息日。吃饱了又继续上路。不巧,我们遇到高速公路大塞车,10分钟的路程变成40分钟。大家坐车都坐到很困了。停在休息站的时候,我竟然还遇见了中学的学妹。

上云顶的山路时,小宝贝晕车了。还好,我们只需要驾到半山。云顶好像变得不冷了。把行李放好后,我们就上山去咯。小小宝贝很兴奋可以坐旅行巴士,整个路程是站着看司机如何驾驶。我依然有点害怕坐缆车,不过就没有像坐Langkawi 缆车的时候那么害怕。来到山顶,宝贝们就迫不及待地玩起来。我陪他们玩第一项,Disco, 就吓得半死,眼泪也流出来了。接着,老公陪他们玩类似Top Gun的,然后,我们一家人一起玩冲上云霄的。我本来以为它不高,就决定尝试一下。结果,还是害怕得掉泪。老公则开始觉得想吐了。然后我们两老就去玩小小孩玩的船,两个宝贝就一起去玩 Disco,第二次。在船里,老公感触地说:“还好早生,不然,如果40岁才生,孩子一出生我就不能陪她玩了。” 我被这句话逗得哈哈大笑。碰碰车,是我们这次的目标之一,终于玩到啦。吃了晚餐我们才下山,小小宝贝因为玩到想吐所以不怎么吃晚餐。要坐缆车的时候,我们发现外头都是浓雾,能见度不到一尺。

第二天,小小宝贝醒来的时候说喉咙疼,我忍住不说些负气的话。我们依然上山玩户外游乐场。看了一场很棒的 motion picture, 科技真的很发达了。接着,老公和宝贝们去玩“冲上云霄”。真的是太勇敢了。他们下来的时候说,很恐怖。小小宝贝在上面的时候有大叫说他不想玩了,可不可以停止。哈哈。我和宝贝们玩3次过山车,他们自己又去玩多一次。第一次玩Samba glider ,我害怕得很。因为裤子很滑,好像要掉下去的感觉。眼泪再次夺眶而出。第二次玩的时候,我把腰带压得紧一些,就不再怕了。我很有成就感地对宝贝们说我不怕了,然而,他们只是默默地走着,没有给我任何回应。他们总共玩了3次 Samba glider. 游乐场快打样的时候,小小宝贝竟然提议再去玩一次“冲上云霄”。我和老公都觉得他依然是位 unpredictable child。第一次玩的时候明明已经吓坏了,现在竟然还提出这个要求。最后,宝贝们就以“冲上云霄”为这次的疯狂之旅画上了句号。老公告诉宝贝们:“这次可能是第一次也是最后一次我们陪你们玩主题乐园。你们长大后自己和朋友来玩吧。”小小宝贝回应到:“哈?这样我不就得等很久才能长大,才能来玩了?

第三天,我提议回家的途中顺道去黑风洞,因为会经过那里。爬上272个台阶,抬头一看,有一个自然的天井,很宁静的感觉油然而生,尽管身处于人潮中。30年前,这里是我和老公第一次旅行的景点之一,当年我们12岁;30年后,我们的两个宝贝也来啦。当年我们参观了黑风洞,天后宫和上云顶玩。这次,宝贝们也是和我们去了云顶和黑风洞。说来是机缘吧,因为本来要走的高速公路土崩,所以我们才会用和30年前一样的路线上山,然后也才会临时决定参观黑风洞。

这次的旅行,让我和老公感慨,孩子们真的长大得很快。没想到从来没有去过主题乐园的他们,都有着老虎胆。哈哈。我也觉得自己进步了些,没有因为小小宝贝喉咙疼而说负气的话,把气氛搞砸了。

p/s 过了2天,柔汐发了一则新闻过来,黑风洞年底就会完成安装自动扶梯。400 million years old cave.  她说她差点崩溃。那天,靖才问辉,为啥神庙要在那么高?辉回答,因为人们需要努力才能遇见神明而不是轻轻松松就 hi & bye. 没想到,年底人们就可以轻松地 hi & bye。

Posted in Waldorf Education, 心情

关于自我

今年,朋友圈里有3位女性朋友离婚,她们都是提出离婚的那一方。一位觉得自己抚养孩子会更加自在(意指前夫不尽责);一位觉得双方理念不一样,放她出去赚钱是最好的结果(她目前的口号是“百因必有果,下个富婆就是我”);最后一位年纪最大,她不想再过着争吵的日子决定去外国深造,她也在想是不是 mid-life crisis 而让她决定追回之前回归家庭而所错过的 。(分居着的先生放不下孩子们所以也决定跟着出国,共同抚养3个孩子)

第三位朋友是最令我和老公吃惊的,不过,这也解释了这几年来他们两夫妻让我们觉得疑惑的相处方式。MCO让这三位朋友突然有所领悟吗?还是折腾了她们导致下定决心要出走?

前几天,听说另一位女性朋友出国去短期打工,老公和孩子们留在家乡。她的动机不详虽然传出几个版本。两个宝贝听见了我和老公提起这事,开始了一连串的提问。

小宝贝:什么是居家工?

我:就是我现在做的工作,打扫屋子,整理床啊。呃,还好我不需要换床单,爸爸帮我做了。

小宝贝:为什么她要去做这份工呢?

老公:没有人知道。可能她要去寻找自我吧!

小宝贝:自我不是去寻找的,是自己认清自己是怎么样的人,要做什么事情啊!我们本来就是有自我的了!

小小宝贝:姐姐,什么是自我?

小宝贝:就像是灵魂吧。一个人没有了灵魂,就必须去寻找回来,不然,她就像鬼那样,飘来飘去,不知道要做什么。也可能是她接受不到自己是怎么样的人,而迷失了自己,找不到自我。

老公:有些人是一直不满足于自己拥有的,所以会不停地想去外头寻找更多东西来填满自己的欲望。也有些人需要自己去做了maid, 才明白其实自己不喜欢做maid然后就会真正体会到本来的生活是很好的。一种体验吧!

大家的讨论在吃着韩国泡菜中结束了。我心里在想,体验是人生一直在发生也需要有的吧。今天的我拥有和满足于现在的生活,都是一步步走过来,(突然想到Alvin说我痛苦过了,哈哈)年轻时曾经以背包客的身份体验了欧洲、澳洲、东南亚的生活等,还有短住在美国的经验,让我更清楚的知道自己最珍惜的是什么。写到这里,脑海里闪过柬埔寨佛像的微笑,那是我唯一次于佛像有过的连结 – 平静和感动。希望我和老公会一直记得我们的初心和珍惜我们所拥有的一切。:)

p/s 今年也有一位本来是家庭主妇的朋友再次回归家庭。去年她迷失了自己,决定带着孩子去打工(她是homeshooling 她的孩子) 。她也因为市价很好以及想要搬回去更靠近夫家而卖掉了本来新建的屋子,而买了旧屋子来居住。她其实就是转了一个圈子又回到本来拥有的生活。之前她不满足于外人看起来很幸福的生活,比如有家婆帮忙,她视为是一种干涉,结果搬离了才体会到有帮手是多么好的一件事。孩子学习的进度慢了下来是因为她忙于工作而导致的,也是让她觉醒的其中一点。本来以为去上班赚钱会寻得内心的开心和满足感,恰恰让她觉得相反。工资也不是高到足以提升生活品质,她老公也有提出这点,不过,就只说了,“只要你能够高兴起来,就去做吧。”

我也祝福刚刚离开家庭去打工的朋友,早日得到内心的平静吧!

Posted in Homeschooling, Waldorf Education, 说给孩子(们)的故事

小宝贝12岁之 ‘真’ 的阶段

小宝贝在邦咯岛的水上回教堂拿了几本传单册子回来读。今天,她再次翻阅那些册子然后很激动地告诉妈妈以下这一番话。

“妈妈,册子上写说,人们不可以 worship prophet 因为他们都是 Allah create 的。人们只可以worship Allah. Prophet 做了那么多好事都是归 Allah 的功劳,因为 Allah 是他们的 creator. 可是,如果有小孩子犯错的时候,为什么是惩罚他们而不是Allah 呢?这太不公平了! ”

妈妈听了只是点点头,说,“ I think you have your point. 只是我现在需要时间思考一下, 迟一些有答案了再和你聊。”

晚餐时间,小宝贝再次把她的看法告诉了爸爸。接着,她还提起了《流浪之歌》里的一段诗歌,并坚决反对我们人应该 just accepting the current world and stop doing anything to make it better. 她认为 we should hope for a better world and work on it, be it just a tiny step but that will make a difference too.

妈妈望着她坚定的眼神,突然闪过一个念头,华德福提到的“善美真” 之真!小宝贝已经踏入了 – 真, 这个阶段。又一个新的里程碑,爸爸妈妈也得调整心态,引导小宝贝走过青春期哦!

Posted in Homeschooling, Waldorf Education, 心情

Lain daripada yang lain

7月16日2022年

这天 ,孩子们到 Pat家去玩。当我,老公和Pat聊得起劲的当儿,Kakak 上来说她搞不定 George, 希望我们大人可以下去看看。

来到游乐场,我们发现George 就真的站在一个角落生闷气。Pat 上前去和他沟通了一阵子,他也拒绝过来。我们就说让他自己独处吧,他需要时间慢慢下台。Kakak突然冒出一句,“Ini budak memang lain daripada yang lain. Saya tak pernah tengok budak macam ini. Lee Jing pun tak ada macam ini. ”

我不禁一边笑,一边重复着,“Ini budak memang lain daripada yang lain. Lee Jing pun tak ada macam ini.” 老公接话说只有马来文才有这种韵味,而且,她也没有看过儿子卡住的时候。我说,“有啊,有一年在他们家的 party.” Pat 也点头说,“有啊,那时候你 poloso 了他很久。”

就在短短的一个月内吧,已经第二次听到外人的提醒或者评语关于小小宝贝的 – 我们家的小小宝贝已经成长不少,跨过以前会卡住,不愿意说话也很难自己下台的阶段。现在的他,除了可以把心里的话说出来,也会容忍其他人,甚至能够冷静地为自己解释、辩护。还会用书写来宣泄自己的情绪。我的感动是满满的。我们对他的信任,陪伴,等待,都是值得的。

曾经的lain daripada yang lain 男孩,依然是独一无二的,继续学习,进步,和做自己。:)

Posted in Homeschooling, Waldorf Education, 说给孩子(们)的故事

我觉得我们过的比较好

昨天,吃晚餐的时候,我们一家人又聊起爸爸妈妈小时候和两个瓜现在的生活之差别。当中也提起孩子们的朋友家境是非一般的富裕等。

爸爸:F 和 G 就是像 Crazy Rich Asian 的生活阶级。但是,我们也不需要去说破或者和其他人提起。我们还是继续过着我们自己的生活。小宝贝,你明白吗?

小宝贝:嗯,我明白。

在一旁洗嘴巴的小小宝贝突然插话:可是,我觉得我们过得比较好。

妈妈很好奇地望着小小宝贝。

爸爸: 哦?你说来听听。

小小宝贝:他们的爸爸虽然赚很多钱,可是,比如星期六和星期日他都需要做工。爸爸,你因为不是老板也不是什么大佬,所以你只是上班五天,有两天可以陪我们玩。每天放工后又可以带我们去打篮球和游泳。所以我觉得我们过得比他们好啊!

妈妈微笑着说:小小宝贝这番话让我想起 Uncle Alvin 曾经提起你们是属于比较 contented的小孩。

小宝贝:他从来没有见过我们又怎么会知道呢?

妈妈:我有向他提起一件事。

小宝贝:噢,是不是那个弟弟曾经说过我们很幸福因为我们来到一个 homeschool family然后不需要做功课的?

妈妈和小宝贝相视而笑。小小宝贝还是一脸认真地站在一旁听。

p/s 几天后,小小宝贝突然抱着妈妈说,“妈妈,谢谢你,我爱你。我觉得我们还是过得比较好因为是由你来教我们读书。”

 

Posted in Waldorf Education, 心情

简单的大快乐

两个宝贝从去年开始吧,就没有踏入购物广场。他们曾经说过,已经忘记商场里的手推车是长什么样子了。前两天,我们一家人去了 Gurney Paragon. 两个宝贝都很兴奋,特别是小小宝贝。他独自一个人乘搭手扶梯上上下下很多次。脸上挂着很开心满足的笑容,还不停和我们挥手打招呼!

老公望着小小宝贝的背影缓缓地往上走,问我:“就只是可以乘搭手扶梯就那么开心了啊?”

我:“嗯,就好像 Mrs M 说过的,12岁终于可以在戏院里吃爆米花,喝可乐,是多么兴奋的事。外人眼里可能会觉得我们的孩子是神经病。哈哈。”

老公:“我觉得你应该写下来今天这么快乐的一件事。”

接着,我们去了Daiso 逛,轮到小宝贝对我说:“Oh my, 我们很久都没有 shopping 了,对吗?” 我也趁机叫她快点选几样物品,因为难得可以来血拼。去到 Jaya Grocer, 小小宝贝迫不及待地要推一辆手推车,姐弟俩也说好要轮流推。望着琳琅满目的糖果,他们很开心地选了两种带回家。

快乐真的可以很简单。

p/s 小宝贝也第一次在餐厅庆祝她的生日。谢谢Jeff 帮我们拍了一张很好看的全家福。

Posted in Waldorf Education

Biography Workshop

Biography Workshop Day 1

Parent’s reflection:

How can I do better next time?

What can I do better next time?

By having these reflections, I am a developing parent. And, life is all about self developing.

 

Age 0-21 we develop body

Age 21-42 we develop soul

Age 42-63 we develop spiritual

Our experiences at age 7-21 will be the reflections at the spiritual stage (42-63) and that time we will slowly reduce this bagage (eperiences 7-21) from our shoulder.

 

Age 14- 21: Developing our specialities such as very good in math, sports.

Age 21-28: This is the experimental phase. We have to decide on our life direction. Trying out lots of things. It’s either action on impluse or thinking too much and without any action taken.

Age 28-35: This is the ratio phase. We are wiser, maturer and more sensitive. Our hearts start to speak more and more. It is a stage whereby we will be practising balance in between listening to our hearts an rational thinking.

Age 35-42: This is the consciousnes phase. Consciousness in the soul starts to develop. We will starts asking questions like “What else can I archieve besides earning money?” “Is there more than being a SAHM?”

Age 0-21 We acted based on sense organ.

 

Quotes:

  1. I am the one who is meeting the challenges in my life and designing my own life.
  2. We are not the property of our parents nor we are the owner of our children.Kahlil Gibran – 1883-1931

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

  1. Sometimes there’s rain, sometimes there’s sun, just accept it. This is life.
  2. Pain is like cracks on shell and there must be cracks to allow lights go into the shell. Kahlil Gibran – 1883-1931

And a woman spoke, saying, Tell us of Pain.

And he said:

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

 

Much of your pain is self-chosen.

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.

Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,

And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

  1. Vera (the speaker) does not going to tell someone that crack is good for light to come in. (This reminds me on Hui who hated anyone who tells him that his life isn’t any worst than others.)
  2. If our childhood is not good, there’s still a chance to find ourselves as a survivor from bad childhood.
  3. We have internal medicine. The source of love is in our heart. Try to look for the beauty around us such as rays of sunshine, kind gestures.
  4. It is not Dos or Don’ts but a capacity to grow. It happens by nature. It is by self education. It is by educating the children and they become our educators in our soul life.
  5. Children mirror parents. Hence we will know if we are doing correctly or not by looking at them.
  6. Friends / colleagues / anyone mirror us as well.
  7. If i am not good enough, it triggers me to be a better person.
  8. I just need to be myself.
  9. Every single person is important.
    eg: Vera gave an example in Netherland that many people just threw away their masks on the street and it was the senior citizens who picked them up. It shows that now they are in the stage of contributing to the society after they have been busy in their previous years taking care of family, career, business etc.
  10. Nature play is very important in young children.
    eg: Vera own experience when meeting with China clients. Many years ago, even the Chinese were very poor and endured with hunger during childhood, however, they got plenty of opportunity to play at outdoor such as climbing trees, building mud houses, etc. These were their happy memory and supported them as an adult. However, in the recent years especially city kids, they do not have these nature play experiences and Vera is worry about how are they going to cope with their adult life in future. Vera suggested we need to create/find opportunity to bring our kids to nature and let them explore in it.
  11. Parents need to be interested in their children.
    Ask them about their interest such as internet games. Everyone likes it when someone is interested in their own hobby or interest.
  12. Whenever there’s a fight between siblings, we as parents need to help our kids to understand each other.
    Sit back and let them experience each other.
    Calm down the situation first, later on only explain to both siblings that elder child needs to take care of the younger sibling and younger child needs to learn to grow up instead of always complaining to parents.
  13. Teenager conflicts with parent.
    We need to have rules and regulations in place.
    Eg: if a teenager was coming home late, parents wait for the next day only talk about it with her. Reminding her that a rule was set and what could be done after she broke the rule.

Biography workshop Day 2

  1. Socialization is part of education.
  2. We entered life in sleeping mode and this has been proven by neuro scientist. Kids from 0-7 are in deep relaxation mode.
  3. Life woke us up around the age of 7.
  4. Remember to ask for help whenever you are in trouble.
  5. It is important for us to go back to our nature for example the free young child back in our childhood.
  6. Aristotle said, “Give me a child until age 7 and I will show you a man.”
  7. Who saw me when I was a young child? ( Recalling back our childhood)
  8. Nurture our child to grow his nature.
  9. Some people repeated the same action from what had seen from their parents.
  10. Some people disagreed and rejected their parent’s way
    – 70s&80s in Western countries are the generation who is anti-authority.
    – The parents would tell the kid that you may go to bed whenever you feel like to. And this behaviour will give an impression to the kid that he/she is not seen by their parents.
  11. We as parents need to listen to our kids and acknowledging the kid.
    – kids need to struggle and overcome their own problem
    – we could accompany them along the journey by listening to their problems.
  12. Self care and caring of our kids and family
    – enough sleep and eat then only can be a resilient parent.
  13. Safety
    – I become a role model of my kids by keeping myself safe.
  14. Social life
    – Children need to play around with friends and by themselves. This is very important.
    – Obeserve their nature and stimulate their potention.
    – listen to them without judgement.
  15. Esteem
    – recognition àsome children dislike direct recognition hence parents need to observe the type of kids they are having.
    -7-14 children wish to get recognition from their peers and teachers.
    – 14-21 is a challenging stage and they need self acceptance/recognition and from others.
  16. Self fulfilment is the top area in the pyramid that consists of the above 4 areas.
    – There’s no path to self fulfilment , self fulfilment is the path.
    – In presence.
  17. We need to weigh our own balance in this pyramid and think of what is our strength and weakness from the 5 areas.
  18. Children nowadays need the NO medicine.
    – No. You cannot have your ipad now.
    – No. You cannot have more chocolate as you have already taken a lot.
    – Children need boundary.
    – Children need to learn to cope with frustration and hence parents should not create a stress-free environment for them.
  19. Parents need to observe our kids closely and we will know what are their needs.
  20. Ask: “What is happending with this child?” Instead of, “What is wrong with this child?”
  21. Each day, drops a little bit of my perfection. Living in perfection is no human.
  22. After obeserving the child, use trial and error method to solve the problems.

 

PARENT’S HOUSE By Khalil  Gibran

It’s the only house where you can go to dozens of times without an invitation.

The only house where you can put the key in the door and enter directly.

The house that has loving eyes that stare at the Door  until they see you.

The house which reminds you of your care free days, stability and your happiness during your Childhood .

The house in which your presence and look at your mother’s and father’s faces is for you a bliss and your conversation with them is a reward.

The house that if you do not go, the hearts of its owners will shrink.

The house in which two candles were burnt to light up the world and fill your life with happiness and joy.

The house where the dining table is pure for you and has no hypocrisy.

The house that if the food time arrives and you don’t eat, the hearts of its owners will be broken and annoyed.

The house that offers you all the laughs & Happiness.

Posted in Waldorf Education, 心情

Spice Garden Guided Tour

4号11月2021年

  1. Salary comes from the word Salt due to 200 years ago, salt was very worthy.
  2. Salt and pepper are the most used spices in the world.
  3. Nipah exists since 150 millions years ago
    – Atap 仔 is at the base / root of Nipah tree
    – the fiber from Nipah are used to make mattress. There was 1 incident happened at Miami beach Penang during Tsunami, a little girl was sleeping soundly on a mattress made of Nipah fiber and she wasn’t even awake from her sleep when the wave carried her with the mattress out to the sea and sent her back to the beach. Saved by Nipah mattress!
    – brown sugar / gula melaka is from Nipah.
  4. Wax palm – use the sap to seal up letter. It can be made as candle as well.
  5. Fan palm is local plant. 好像济公的扇子。
  6. Spices have 4 usage: protection, tasty, medicine and killing.
  7. Silver Joey Palm- architect in Malaysia copy it’s shape to build rooftop. 锌片屋顶
    – monk uses its sap to dye cloth
  8. Traveler’s palm leaves grows to the direction of South and North. Those who travel in the jungle use it as indicator of direction, that’s how it gets its name.
  9. Gorilla pepper is the most spicy in the world.
  10. UAE country banned nutmeg.
  11. Ceylon cinnamon from Sri Lanka cinnamon is consider as ‘real’ cinnamon and better than cinnamon from China. It is made  from its inner bark. The price is costly due to difficult to produce.
  12. Clove heals wound. However, the gentlemen in our group are more interested in its usage to help erection. :p
  13. White and Black peppers are actually from the same plant. When pepper is soaked in water, then dried and grinded, it is the non spicy white pepper. Black pepper are those that sunbathed.

隔天要回家的时候,我在入口处看见一位很像很像梅诗的女生。刹那间,我的眼眶就热起来,鼻子也一酸。我不停地和老公说,“怎么会那么像?是不是她的姐姐啊?” 我不得不转过身子,缓一缓,双手不停地朝脸上扇风。我想,我是多么希望她是梅诗,她回来了。一位在我心里轻轻地留下了烙印,想要和这个大地一起进化的农夫。

Posted in Homeschooling, Waldorf Education, 心情

接受他而不是改变他

中午,和老公聊起Alvin的分享,关于OCD。

我:他说买多几间屋子,练习等待拿锁匙的经历,就会慢慢地学会应对。Practice makes perfect.

老公:我觉得,是要接受对方而不是要慢慢地改变对方。如果是要改变对方的话,不只是对方辛苦,自己也会辛苦。

我:早上,你就是接受了儿子的ritual, 念故事给他听?每天一醒来第一件事就是要听故事。

老公:嗯。当你了解一个人后,就不会因为不明白他而生气他。我们的学校制度就是设计成不能了解你们这种人。(指的是土相的人)以前都是 home schooling. 当开始建工厂后,学校才开始出现的。为的就是要训练出一批能够迅速懂得 step A, step B, step C 的人。像你们这些因为不明白 step A 然后没有直接发问的人,等到老师教导 Step E 的时候才问回 step A, 老师当然就不会有耐性啦。因为他们要很快地教完课程,像工厂的制造业那样,跟着预设的流程走。

我:是的。我小时候就是第一节的课上完了,第四节的时候,我还在想着第一节的那个问题。但,不代表我没有听懂第二到第四节的课程。我只不过是会问回第一节的东西而已。就像现在小小宝贝过了好几个小时后,会问小宝贝她说过的话是什么意思,然后小宝贝就抓狂了,说:“我都不记得了,我只是随口说说而已,我连我自己为什么要说也不知道,为什么已经过了那么久的事情你还要记得,还要拿出来讲?!” 小宝贝和我哥是一样的气质,这一幕,我小时候,我哥和我也上演了很多很多次。

老公:所以我们要教他们,这个世界上有你们这种人,也有其他不同气质的人。当他们了解后,就会接受对方,不会因此而生气。就像小小宝贝每次都是因为小宝贝生气了,他也开始生气,两个人才会吵架。如果他们知道答案就告诉土相的人,不知道答案也不必和他们发脾气,就接受他们是会问起过了很久的问题、事件的。我最近就是想到一件事,我们大人睡不着的时候都会爬起来,煮面吃,看电脑等。可是,当孩子睡不着的时候,我就会生气,说:“我已经陪了你一个小时了,你怎么还不睡?” 我不是后悔或内疚我做错了,我觉得当时的我就是没有那个 awareness, 我过后想到这点的时候,就没有再生气了。我会让孩子起身,做点事,然后困了才去睡觉。毕竟,睡不着觉的时候,一直躺着也很辛苦啊。

我:你也是因为接受了我,我才可以更了解自己,有那个 awareness, 听得进你的话。